laurenhooper:

awlhf:

supervengers:

omvr:

yo gettin married at 22 sounds a lot like leavin a party at 9:30 pm

yeah but you get to leave the party with your favorite person on the planet, and take off all of your makeup, and put on your ugly comfortable clothes and make popcorn and curl up in your bed and watch a movie, and have sex and go to sleep, idk how that sounds like a bad thing.

And everyone else just wakes up alone and hungover.

this is the best thing ive ever heard

foxnewsofficial:

cumomelet:

a riddle:

a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” how is this possible?

omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that

So I don’t know why, but while at work today, there were 4 people dressed up as Sherlock Characters. There were Sherlock, John, Moriarty, and what I assume to be Lestrade. I got to take their picture and I don’t think anyone really knew what they were dressed as.

It made me happy. If you are there cosplayers, ily.

televisoin:

eeveez:

why did authors stop naming their chapters i loved it when there was a clever little title for each chapter it was great

image

ashtonisms:

Tip: don’t listen to twenty one pilots while you’re doing mindless chores because you’ll then realize you’re crying while vacuuming

greed:

i want to kiss you and take cute pictures with you and go on stupid dates but I also want tO DESTRYO YOU AT MAR IO KART

so apparently everyone I love was at comic con today.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Robert Downey Jr.

Chris Hardwick

Mark Ruffalo

John Barrowman.

and where was I?

working. all. fuckin. day.

andrewthecoolone:

ivorysorrows:

hailmaryfullofgrace55675:

ravenhallow:

misomachine:

deathwingxvx:

goraihadoken:

astroknight:

hexfawn:

i made an aesthetic generator now you can discover urself

rat Dad

bog grunge omfg

Garden Lolita 

pasta emo

glow furry

YURI QUEER

Queer punk.
(wtf im trying again)
fashion witch
(whAT IN THE SWEET FUCKING HELL)

pale jock 

garden vintage

glam mom

they know me so well

business grunge

lacigreen:

micdotcom:

Forget the spreadsheet, here’s an easy flowchart to know if a women owes you sex

Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.
Sorry, guys, that’s just not the way the world works | Follow micdotcom 


sometimes i just cant believe this is the 21st century

failureisntanoptionitsinevitable:

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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17000dollars:

With 17,000 dollars you could buy about 11258 Cosmo con buttons 

notquitephil:

invertedgender:

calling a man a “pig” is literally dehumanising how do some people not think there’s anything wrong with that how

Because chicks, fillies, birds and bitches never get dehumanised. Those vixens always get away with this kind of shit. Especially the heifers, they’re the worst. What cows.